My Own Story…
My name is David Koran and I am a victim of sexual abuse. In 1980, at age 15, I was abused by my high school principal. I endured this nightmare repeatedly for over a two year period. During those years I missed proms, class photos, relationships and even my high school graduation, including fears of returning for class reunions. This has left me with a huge box filled with emotions I wish never existed. From depression, guilt, anxiety, a guarded outlook, disappointment and fear, not to mention the lasting horrible memories.
Finding a balance with the rest of the world is one of the hardest things for me. For more than forty years I feared what people, including my friends and family, would think if they had found out. I struggled through life asking myself “why did this happen to me?”.
I wanted a normal life like everyone else. It took years for me to recognize that I have emotional trauma. This trauma prevented me from going to college, having a career, family and normal relationships.
Sailing takes courage and a respect for the sea. If the sea is beating you down, throwing all the money in the world at it won’t help, you have to help yourself, you have to adapt
I discovered sailing back in 2006 when I bought an old sailboat from a friend of mine. I rigged the mast and put her in the water. This new feeling of freedom and adventure overwhelmed me. I felt the sails could take me anywhere in the world. I just knew sailing would be my gateway, helping me cope with my past. Personally, sailing has pushed me into a better latitude. It has helped me stand up for myself, and accept this was not my fault. Each time I head into the sea, it’s a test of my inner strength and will.
Focusing on the step in front of you and not the whole staircase
When I sail into the unknown, I leave the past behind me and it opens doors to new adventures. The sea is an all powerful entity that has no rival. You are at the mercy of her and it takes commitment, focus and inner strength to survive. When I return to shore I feel empowered.
Sailing forces you to take one step forward at a time, learning and adapting, you only run into trouble when you sit and do nothing. Once In a storm off the coast of Alabama, in the Gulf of Mexico, I learned this lesson well. Beaten down, cold and wet with gale force winds, I stopped looking at the entire chaos and accomplished small tasks so that I could regain control. When your past bears down on you, taking a single step helps you move in the right direction. Sailing engages your mind and body to help you focus, and create new chances for happiness.
True friends are those rare people who come to find you in dark places and lead you back to the light.
I have made many friends sailing. Some you meet for a few days then I run into them months or even years later. Sailors are bonded by their shared experiences. There is always a will to help one another in the sailing community. Risking it all, sailors will come to the aid of another in the time of need.
Some friends you keep for life, like Joe, who unknowingly deflected the pattern of abuse in my last year of school just by being there. We are still good friends and I adore his family. Then there are ones you meet later in life, like my friend Donna Lange.
Donna, who graduated from my school and became a legend sailing around the world, was involved in a horrible accident. Distraught, Donna took to the sea with her sailboat “Inspired Insanity” with resolution and found her peace. Her quests have inspired me to leave the lakes and take on the seas. She is one of my most beloved inspiring heroes and taught me that the sea truly does heal…
“Strong people stand up for themselves, but stronger people stand up for others.” — Suzy Kassem
If anything, sailing the sea has provided me with the courage and direction I need. No person is ever completely healed from a traumatic event, especially sexual abuse. You don’t just wake up one day and feel healed. My heart was torn when I found there were many more victims. I want to help them in any way possible. I want them all to know they are not alone and I will stand for and with them… we will not be forgotten.
Thank You to all of my friends and the support they have given me..
David Koran, Burnt Hills Ballston Lake Class of 83’